I Just Had a Heart Attack (But Not the Kind You Think)

Dear Journal, it's me again.

Recently, I recalled something a doctor taught me once. Takotsubo cardiomyopathy; also known as Broken heart syndrome. It is a temporary heart condition triggered by severe emotional or physical stress. It mimics a heart attack, causing sudden weakening of the heart's pumping muscle. Most people with broken heart syndrome recover fully within weeks.

Now I know about the usual heartbreak in relationships--breakups, betrayals, and more. But recently, I experienced a different kind of heartbreak. The kind that hits when something you poured everything into doesn't work out. When projects you believed in fail. When dreams you worked tirelessly toward crumble.

This wasn't romantic heartbreak. This was the crushing weight of professional disappointment, of watching months of effort dissolve, of feeling like maybe you're just not cut out for this after all.

And man, it hurt physically. My chest felt heavy. Sleep became elusive. Everything that used to motivate me suddenly felt pointless. I was experiencing my own version of broken heart syndrome; not from love lost, but from hope deferred.

Truth is: sometimes what won't work just won't work, no matter how hard you try. I just swallowed that pill, and it wasn't sweet. You feel weak, unmotivated, tired. The world stops making sense. A hard, depressing feeling...Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.

But here I am, writing in this VERY public journal again. Why? Because just like Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, most situations in life are temporary. The heart heals. The fog lifts. The story continues.

When everything in you wants to quit, when your heart feels like it can't take another hit, remember that the situation is temporary. It will pass. If I fail once, I go again. If I fail ten times, I go again. If I fail a hundred times, I go again.

If I fail ten thousand times, I go again.

It's not over until I win. I choose to be like a sword that can only break, not bend. I will stand.

Speaking of standing, I've recently discovered something new in my healthcare journey. Something that feels different, promising. NexaVida Health Technologies might have just found its footing.

Sometimes the breakthrough comes right after you think you can't take another step. The heart breaks. The heart heals. The heart tries again. That's what makes us human. That's what makes us unstoppable.

Until next time, Obafela R. Killa 🖊️